I sit here with my tears, a box of cleenex, my head pounding and my throat on fire.
I am sick. I am emotional. I am healing. I am changing.
As I expressed words to my father, straight from my heart, it brought me to tears.
Not because anything is wrong, in fact so much is right.
Now for us to experience this alignment together, didn’t happen over night.
It didn’t come about without tears, heated discussions, hurt, processing,
personalizing and hearing each other out.
It came with a dedication; a belief that it could be better.
I decided what was right for me, was not always going to jive with him and that’s ok.
Loosing people in our family, moved us together in ways we didn’t expect.
I believe in all ups and downs that we danced out together before we lost our boys,
were to prepare us.
For life is always giving so many chances, second tries and do it agains.
Each day I wake up, I’m faced with the choice of being real or not, moving or staying.
Some days are harder than others, while some really ring true.
I am learning to bend into the days when my mind races; my decisions are second guessed.
I am surrendering into the need for friends, community and fun.
Life can be taken way too seriously and being together sharing ourselves feels good.
I’d like to share something that I’ve been using to help me through.
As one week, out of each month being a woman, my levels drop, mind scatters & emotions swirl.
So I like to remember all the things I did well in, that I got through!
The past can be haunting, but what about all the good things, remember how I got through that!? That felt good.
I’ve been taking time to see myself there again, feeling into my satisfaction.
This helps me remember what I have forgotten, it helps me get through the next moment.
Because that’s it, life is made of moments, one after another.
It’s when we get stuck in the past or wander the future too much, that we get out of NOW.
Then anxieties can rise, mind chats or stories play out, keeping me from feeling good.
Fears of what could be, weigh in and at times stop me from trying the very thing I know I want to do.
So ask yourself today, how good am I?
What have I done well?
See it, feel it, embody it.
Spend 'real time' in your moments, look around you and remember
YOU ARE WHO YOU GOT!
YOU ARE WORTH A LOT!
Believe in the impossible, if you want it, you will have it.
Only thing in your way, is the belief that you won’t.
With all my heart,
Woman, Wife, Mother and Intuitive. Consciously evolving with all of nature and humanity.