It began with the accidental loss of my brother, almost two years ago. I was then catapulted into living & communicating in two worlds, as family healing continued too. The mysteries of life have hidden lessons and gifts, it takes time to process and allow them in.
The way my journey home within myself chose to manifest, was through my throat. The place of communication, truth, voice, sound and sharing. I shared so much after he died, as a medium between him and his loved ones that he left behind. I got forced into a state of silence, asking for help and depending on my inner resources I’ve doubted for so many years.
After a year of processing grief, it began. The manifestation that got so clear, I could no longer ignore it. In November 2017 my throat found a way to stop giving so much, pushing past my own needs.
It found a way to force me to quiet down and REALLY listen inside.
The experience started like this: I would loose my voice often, had inflammation at night and pain in the neck from singing, talking on the phone and reading stories. It was thought to be, laryngitis, but after three weeks, a trip to the doctor and continued symptoms, I was directed to a throat specialist. It was confirmed, my vocal chords were swollen, no nodes, which was a blessing! I didn’t want to think about anything going inside my neck to be removed.
Remedy suggested: don’t sing for five months and talk as little as you can. Come back to check it again and a couple vocal training classes will help. HA! Me, no singing and little talking…that was a trip!
If you know me well, you'd be certain of how big singing is in my life. Since a little girl, who got her first Whitney Huston cassette tape from a birthday party, found the mirror and solace of her room and some pipes for singing! Singing is when my heart opens and I feel ALIVE! Yet, there was a bigger picture going on that I was only a little bit open to accepting.
Universe’s orders: Get quiet and listen within. So with many angering moments, tantrums and sad phone calls to my loved ones, I made it. Six months going strong now and singing is becoming a muscle I must take time to reinvent and re train. Lesson: Pushing and over doing hurts, take time for my needs, trust the process.
Fears Faced: I have a voice, I have truth and I am going to share it authentically. It’s safe for me to be quiet and it’s also safe for me to show my vulnerability in a powerful way. With a lot of our parents coming from war struck parents, there’s been a hold on vulnerability and expression, as NOT being ok.
We’ve entered new times and inside of each of us is a powerful force waiting to be heard, seen and expressed. Everything that happens to us physically is connected to us emotionally or spiritually too.
I like the analogy of ALL THE OPENING DOORS.
Each moment in your life, there are doors opening. They open through experiences, relationships, events and moments. We can choose to shut them, we can choose to peak, we can open them wide and we can step or jump on through them.
When we start looking at the world in the view of doors opening, we start to see they are for our highest good and evolution. We can bring integrity, courage and heart to each moment or matter and ask yourself:
‘What is this experience, person, challenge or moment trying to show me?’
Taking my lessons in the the last two years, with this kind of lens has changed my life.
Using my intuition to guide me, allowing my heart to listen/share and seeing everything that happens to me as a way to get to know myself better. It’s creating REAL living and I’m building REAL happiness for myself.
My REAL home in within myself.
I thank every single one of you for being in my life the unique way you are meant to be.
I wouldn’t be able to see or experience myself in this deep way without all of you.
Bless you & be YOU!
Woman, Wife, Mother and Intuitive. Consciously evolving with all of nature and humanity.