I’m tired of how much energy you drain from me.
I’m so sick of the way you come out in times I need you least.
I’m tired of the shit stories you tell me, that I'm wrong or not enough.
I’m tired of your negativity that feeds fear within my mind & body.
I’m tired of the way you make my heart race.
I am tired of the tightness I feel in my shoulders when you show up.
I’ve had enough of the tensions, doubts, worries that I’ve done something wrong.
You’re like a shadow that takes all my light away.
I am currently in the middle of my second candida cleanse.
What does that mean?
I only eat meat, vegetables and very little low sugar fruits for two weeks.
Cutting out grains, dairy & sugar which feed yeast/candida in my body.
I did a longer one 3 years ago I believe & changed my diet.
My oldest son is doing it too, his longer cleanse was 4 years ago.
These drastically changed our mental health, along with avoiding certain foods.
What we learned from clearing out refined/cane sugars & dairy was,
that our brains work a whole lot better without them.
Each of us is unique in what we need for our mind & body.
When we removed things long enough for the gut to heal
and we reintroduce it, we became clear what really happens to our bodies.
I’ve experienced worry/anxiety for a lot of my life.
I’ve always had trouble within my body with candida since I was 10 years old.
I just didn’t know it or have the sense to tell my parents or look deeper into it.
I continued until mid 20’s when I got to my second bad burn out & attempted to quit sugar. Dates became my best friend after dinner.
At that time I also learned through an old relationship how empathic I was.
That I could take on energy that wasn’t mine and experience it like it was my own.
So I share my journey with candida & anxiety as these two for me have been linked.
After getting strep throat real bad & taking antibiotics, I've begun this cleanse.
For the first week it’s pretty foggy, anxious, scattered, irritable & many subtle sensations.
My son got strep throat twice, two rounds of antibiotics & here we are day four on our cleanse!
This is what I know about you today.
You tempt me into believing you, so I can get into the moment and remember who I am.
You trick me into second guessing myself, so I feel how uncomfortable that is in my body.
You lie to me in hopes that I will give in and give up, but I keep deciding not to listen.
You remind me that I am a living organism, changing and shifting every day.
You teach me that my needs really matter & when I stop listening you get stronger.
You help me trust over time, with support, healthy practice & courage my inner voice gets stronger than yours.
You are here for me to experience my fullest potential, to know many bottoms means I can reach higher.
You have helped me develop subtle awareness within my body, that guides my decisions & thoughts.
You help me remember feeling like a victim keeps me small & empathy and self care is my medicine.
So thank you anxiety and screw you candida.
I’ve got this shit and I’m well on my way to clearing you out!
I am thankful to know today what I didn’t know so long ago.
Being a sensitive empath has it’s ups and downs, yet the more I learn to listen to my body
the more gifts that keep growing deep within me.
I love to share them with the world and today, I'm enjoying sharing them with myself too.
I trust that my experience will reach you in what ever way it’s meant to.
You are so full of potential.
All that’s done unto you, is actually for you.
I believe in your goodness.
I trust in your path.
May you get to know your insides & don't forget to laugh!
Magnitudes of love
Woman, Wife, Mother and Intuitive. Consciously evolving with all of nature and humanity.