Photo credit: Bayview Elementary Mural Project
I’ve come to yet another, tender time in my life, out of many. A time where the soft whisperings of my soul speak to me. They speak through my pain, reactions, awareness; they connect through my body & heart. With patience and surrender I take time to hold myself. I take time to allow what’s showing up, in a way that lets me be human & spiritual.
Belonging defined, is an affinity for a place or situation. Belonging in a group defined, is a sense of fitting in or feeling like you are an important member of a group.
This word has been floating all around me for weeks now. I’ve remained open to what it’s trying to teach me.
I listen through my friends expressions, I listen to the frustrations I feel, I listen to the needs I learn about as I'm growing and changing. I listen with courage so I may heal what’s been squashed. I allow the contrast to guide me into clearer sensations of knowing & trust my body in what feels good and what doesn’t.
The body is brilliant meter that communicates intelligently.
As I continue my practice, its getting louder & clearer.
To belong for me, is evolving because isn’t that why we are here?
To challenge ourselves, question beliefs, expand on what’s possible and push through limitations; re-investing ourselves is quite the process. It’s a fluid process and one that gets more rich and exciting over time.
I can get caught in traps of old habits & past hurts like any other human. We all do.
What’s possible is a gap of awareness or silent acceptance that provides compassion to let myself be where I need to be. This was not always the case for me, as my past experience with co-dependency led me to adapt, shape shift & change into what others needed me to be. Therefore, ensuring that others are ok before my own self.
This awareness, silence whisper and compassion, lends itself to me now and in turn to others as well. What a gift.
It hit me, this past week when I caught myself in an uncomfortable emotion, wanting my children to just stop & get past the negative situation they were in.
I thought, 'I need them to change so that I feel ok'….
Does that happen with others in life too, not just our children?
'If they would just agree with me, or do as I want, then I will be ok'.
I wondered how can I shift myself first, so that I feel ok.
Then come at this situation with a different energy & perspective.
Vibration has everything to do with the attraction of energy we want, it’s the law of the universe.
I didn’t say it’s easy, I’m learning as I go and also noticing how much better it works.
With others but especially with my children.
Belonging has become one of my deep desires, to be OK with myself no matter what’s going on around me.
Belonging had always been something I sought outside of myself.
Approval by anyone that I was with, whether that’s a close or new relationship, either a friend or co-worker, parent or authority figure.
Can you relate?
I’m clear that the most important approval needed is my self-approval.
For living from that space changes everything.
It takes time to heal old wounds, to mend the torn bits of our insides, to sort out the stories & re-create new pathways.
It’s also VERY possible, as neuroplasticity is so graciously confirming.
Our paths have many winding roads, turns, bumps and bruises. Yet, the sweetest part comes when it doesn’t matter how many, the tender parts get clearer, the needs become seen & heard, the belonging starts to manifest from deep inside, bringing in places, situations & people that match the clarity & vibrations.
It takes more energy to lie than it does to tell the truth.
It takes more energy to pretend then it does to be real.
It’s the fear of being accepted and belonging that gets in the way of being true to ourself above all. The benefits out weight the fears, when we step into trusting our feelings, process & get the support to stand in the face of it all.
“Simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
Simple in actions and thoughts, you return to the source of being.
Patient with both friends and enemies,
you accord with the way things are.
Compassionate toward yourself,
you reconcile all beings in the world.”
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
I pray that light will always find you, lead you and guide you back to YOU.
May belonging begin with you & create abundant connections that support you.
With all my love
I sit here with my tears, a box of cleenex, my head pounding and my throat on fire.
I am sick. I am emotional. I am healing. I am changing.
As I expressed words to my father, straight from my heart, it brought me to tears.
Not because anything is wrong, in fact so much is right.
Now for us to experience this alignment together, didn’t happen over night.
It didn’t come about without tears, heated discussions, hurt, processing,
personalizing and hearing each other out.
It came with a dedication; a belief that it could be better.
I decided what was right for me, was not always going to jive with him and that’s ok.
Loosing people in our family, moved us together in ways we didn’t expect.
I believe in all ups and downs that we danced out together before we lost our boys,
were to prepare us.
For life is always giving so many chances, second tries and do it agains.
Each day I wake up, I’m faced with the choice of being real or not, moving or staying.
Some days are harder than others, while some really ring true.
I am learning to bend into the days when my mind races; my decisions are second guessed.
I am surrendering into the need for friends, community and fun.
Life can be taken way too seriously and being together sharing ourselves feels good.
I’d like to share something that I’ve been using to help me through.
As one week, out of each month being a woman, my levels drop, mind scatters & emotions swirl.
So I like to remember all the things I did well in, that I got through!
The past can be haunting, but what about all the good things, remember how I got through that!? That felt good.
I’ve been taking time to see myself there again, feeling into my satisfaction.
This helps me remember what I have forgotten, it helps me get through the next moment.
Because that’s it, life is made of moments, one after another.
It’s when we get stuck in the past or wander the future too much, that we get out of NOW.
Then anxieties can rise, mind chats or stories play out, keeping me from feeling good.
Fears of what could be, weigh in and at times stop me from trying the very thing I know I want to do.
So ask yourself today, how good am I?
What have I done well?
See it, feel it, embody it.
Spend 'real time' in your moments, look around you and remember
YOU ARE WHO YOU GOT!
YOU ARE WORTH A LOT!
Believe in the impossible, if you want it, you will have it.
Only thing in your way, is the belief that you won’t.
With all my heart,
Woman, Wife, Mother and Intuitive. Consciously evolving with all of nature and humanity.